This post doesn’t have an audio version because honestly, I’m probably going to delete it in a few days and I really just wanted to sit down and write my heart out like I used to without having to then set my mics up and record.
On Wednesday I was supposed to share the first part of my new poetry collection K. I have had the post sitting there waiting for me to hit publish since then, but until today I haven’t been able to.
I’ve published it now and in fact you can read it by clicking here if you’d like to.
But I just wanted to talk about why it took me so long to publish, partly because I think talking about it is going to make me feel better and partly because I thought some of you might find it interesting to know what goes through my mind when I write and share poetry.
K is probably one of the most personal collections I have written in a while, lately the poetry I have written, especially the things that I am pulling together for my book have drawn inspiration from the world around me.
I’ve also spent the last year or so writing songs and things for other people and that has also taken inspiration from the world around me and stories and themes presented to me.
K was the first time in a long time that I really went back inside myself for inspiration and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt to do.
I didn’t intend to sit and write about the subject matter that I did, I just opened the proverbial box to see what I could find and out poured these poems.
Because of how raw it is, when I went to press publish on Wednesday, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t put my bruise out there for everybody else to press too.
I also for the first time in a long time felt weirdly exposed, there isn’t much that I haven’t written about here on my blog, I’m an expert at oversharing without any kind of filter and not being phased but this one just felt too personal, which I’m sure if you’ve read my blog for any longer than 5 minutes you’re probably thinking “THIS is what she thinks is too personal?!” but hey I didn’t choose to have the feelings they just happened.
It took me a few days to pluck up the courage to actually press publish on the first poem. I honestly thought when I published the post announcing the collection and when I talked about it on my live stream I was finally ready to share the poems because honestly, I’ve been sitting on these for a month or so now but I guess that I wasn’t quite ready.
The first poem has been published now though and so having broken that barrier the rest will all publish on time, each and every Wednesday.
This collection has been a really emotional roller coaster for me though from the first time I put pen to paper to the second I pressed publish on that first poem.
I obviously hope that you all like the poems because this is my job and if you don’t like it then I’m screwed honestly but whatever happens I’m really proud of these poems.
If you’d like to read the first poem from my new collection K then you can find it by clicking here, the first poem is called I Will Love You, Always.
Thanks for reading,