Selfish September? – Bedtime Ramblings #2

On the 1st July 2015 I announced that I was starting a Bed Time Ramblings series and then followed it up with 0 posts in the series for the following two months…

I got scared, I realised I was about to empty a lot of brain vomit onto the internet and it was going to marginally unfiltered and I severely doubted whether or not I wanted to carry on with the series.

I wrote posts don’t get me wrong, I just never published them because it’s scary publishing posts sometimes.

I think I’m finally ready to bring the series back though.

Well I say ‘bring it back’ it was never really here as I don’t think one post makes a series but hey you know what I mean.

The reason that I’ve decided to bring the series back now is because lately it feels like I’ve been putting everybody else and their needs, dreams and everything else before my own and I just feel like it’s time that I started putting myself first more and spending more time working towards the things that I want instead of holding myself back to worry about other people.

I thought that by writing about it all publicly it might help and encourage me to put myself first more because it’s something I’ve told you I want to do and now it’s like I actually have to follow through with that.

Don’t get me wrong though I’m not just about to become a really selfish person, I’m all for helping other people and putting others first but lately it feels like my dreams and stuff have been suffering as a consequence of that and I want to change that.

I think everyone should put themselves first a little bit, it’s important and it’s not something I’m really very used to doing. As long as putting yourself first doesn’t hurt anyone or break any laws or anything then I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.

I’m going to try and do one thing each day for myself, it could be something as simple as taking some time to read a book or going shopping to treat myself to something nice or even just allowing myself to work a full day completely uninterrupted by anybody else!

I don’t feel like I’ve made this sound very good but I’m not really sure how else to write about what I want to do because I just feel like it makes me sound like a bad person…

I’m not a bad person, I always help other people and put them first and I’m still going to be that person, just that person with a bit more Me Time.

Argh I must sound awful.

I told myself I was going to publish this post and I am, if I sound awful then I’ll deal with the fallout tomorrow it’s 11:30pm right now and I’m exhausted so I’m just going to hit publish and go to bed.

Good night!

Charlotte xo